Have you noticed how childhood has changed over the years? What used to be a time filled with freedom, scraped knees, and silly adventures has now turned into a world where parents are hovering, supervising, and stepping in way too much even when kids can easily handle things themselves.
Today, many parents, especially in middle- and upper-class families, are deeply involved in every part of their child’s life from solving playground arguments to helping with homework, and even tagging along to job interviews. Yep, job interviews! While it’s all done with love, experts believe this hands-on parenting style may be doing more harm than good.
The Mental Health Crisis No One Saw Coming
According to Lenore Skenazy, author of Free-Range Kids and co-founder of Let Grow, we've reached a point where adults have taken over childhood. She says we’re living in a time of “parental panic,” where even letting a child walk down the street alone feels like a risky move. This constant supervision is driven by fear often irrational of something bad happening, like a stranger in a van scenario we’ve all heard about.
But here’s the thing: when today's parents were kids (think Gen X), there was a clear line between the world of kids, adults, and family life. These three worlds worked in harmony. Now? They're all mashed together and it's creating chaos.
A new study from the University of Michigan supports what she’s saying. Most parents agree that independence is good for kids, but over half still believe unsupervised kids are likely to cause trouble. In fact, some parents admit to judging others for letting their children be on their own, even for just a little while.
What Are Kids Missing Out On?
Let’s talk numbers. Only 24% of kids are allowed to order their own food at a restaurant. The majority of children between ages 9 and 11 aren’t even allowed to stay home alone for half an hour, ride their bike to a friend’s house, or play in a park without an adult present. Even in grocery stores, just half of parents let their kids go down a different aisle solo. She jokes that parents need to be brave enough to let their kids go down the canned food aisle alone.
But it’s no laughing matter when we look at the impact. Mental health issues among kids and teens are rising at an alarming rate. Lately, there's been a big rise over 50% in depression and anxiety among children between 3 and 17 years old. Young adults are feeling more alone than ever before 44% of people aged 18 to 29 report feeling completely alone at times.
Why? Many believe it's because we’ve stripped away the very thing kids need most: unstructured, unsupervised play. The only place left for unsupervised interaction? Online and that’s a dangerous substitute.
Too Much Screen Time, Too Little Real Life
The U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, recently warned that social media could be harming kids the same way cigarettes and alcohol do. Teens who spend over three hours a day online are twice as likely to develop anxiety or depression. And on average, kids are spending nearly 5 hours a day scrolling through their feeds.
And it’s not just kids feeling the pressure. Parents are struggling too. A recent advisory revealed that one in three parents of children under 18 felt extremely stressed in the past month more than other adults. Both groups are feeling overwhelmed, and Skenazy believes the solution is clear: give childhood back to kids.
Bringing Back Childhood Freedom
Skenazy is leading a movement to restore balance. Her Reasonable Childhood Independence Law aims to make it clear that allowing kids to do age-appropriate things on their own like walking to school or playing outside is not neglect. So far, nine states have passed it, and the list is growing.
Why is this so important? Studies show that free play the kind where kids make up the rules, take small risks, and learn from their mistakes is essential for emotional growth, social skills, and even physical health. Without it, kids can’t learn how to solve problems, build confidence, or handle the real world.
Her nonprofit, Let Grow, is encouraging schools and families to support independence. Their programs help kids try new things on their own with permission, but without someone watching every move.
Letting Go So Kids Can Grow
“Skenazy says kids feel proud when they can say, "I did it on my own." When parents trust their kids to handle things on their own, something amazing happens: kids feel more capable, confident, and happy. And, funny enough, parents feel proud too maybe even prouder.
So maybe it’s time to stop holding their hands so tightly, and start giving them the room they need to explore, learn, and grow. After all, kids can do a lot more than we give them credit for.