Words are powerful especially in relationships. What you say (and how you say it) can either build trust or tear it down. Sometimes, the things we blurt out in frustration or hurt might seem small in the moment, but they can leave long-lasting emotional scars. And while we often don’t mean to hurt the people we love, certain phrases can do just that.
If you're looking to build a healthier, stronger bond with your partner, here are four phrases to avoid at all costs and what to say instead.
1. “Stop Being So Sensitive”
This one might sound harmless, but it’s actually very damaging. Calling your partner “too sensitive” ignores how they really feel. You're basically saying, your feelings don’t matter, which can cause them to shut down emotionally.
According to neuroscience research, emotional rejection can trigger the same part of the brain that reacts to physical pain. So when you invalidate someone’s feelings, it can actually feel threatening, making them withdraw or disconnect to protect themselves.
Better approach: Or try, “I didn’t know that hurt you. Can you tell me how you’re feeling?” That keeps the conversation open and respectful.
2. “I’m Fine” (When You’re Clearly Not)
We’ve all done it something's bothering us, but instead of opening up, we put on a fake smile and say, “I’m fine.” It may feel easier in the moment, but over time, this creates emotional distance. It sends the message that your partner can’t reach you or trust your words.
A recent study published found that people who regularly hide their emotions in relationships feel more alone and less satisfied. And for women in particular, emotional suppression can lead to deeper feelings of isolation and disconnection.
Better approach: Instead of shutting down, try saying, “I’m not ready to talk about it yet, but I will soon.” That honesty helps your partner feel included, not shut out.
3. “Do Whatever You Want I Don’t Care”
This phrase usually comes out during arguments when emotions are high. But while it might seem like you’re just blowing off steam, it sends a strong message: I’m giving up on caring.
This kind of emotional withdrawal is actually a huge red flag. Research from Frontiers in Psychology shows that pulling away during conflict is linked to avoidant attachment and low relationship satisfaction. When one partner shuts down, it breaks the emotional bond and creates a toxic cycle of feeling unheard and unwanted.
Better approach: Take a breather if needed, but stay engaged. You could say something like, “I need a minute to calm down, but this matters to me and I want to talk.”
4. “You Always…” or “You Never…”
These statements are classic conflict escalators. Saying things like “You never help me” or “You always ignore me” turns a specific issue into a personal attack. It paints your partner as the villain, rather than addressing the actual problem.
Studies show that blaming language shuts down communication and leads to what’s known as “coercive conflict” the kind of arguments that go nowhere and leave both people feeling resentful and unheard.
Better approach: Focus on how you feel and what you need. For example, “I felt hurt when you didn’t respond earlier. I need to feel heard.”
Final Thoughts
Strong relationships aren’t about being perfect they’re about staying connected, talking things through, and showing you care. The words we choose matter more than we realize. By ditching these four toxic phrases and replacing them with more honest and compassionate language, you create space for deeper trust, emotional safety, and lasting love.
Be mindful, not just in your actions, but in your words. What you say can either help you grow closer or create distance.