Gaslighting is a psychological tactic used to make you question your own experiences and judgment. Recognizing the most common gaslighting phrases and knowing how to respond can help you protect yourself and stand your ground.
Gaslighting is one of the most harmful forms of emotional manipulation. It can make you feel confused, doubt your own thoughts, and even question your sanity. Manipulators use specific phrases to distort reality and make you feel powerless, whether in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or the workplace. Here are four common gaslighting phrases and effective responses to take back your confidence.
1. "You're too sensitive."
What it really means: The gaslighter wants to shift the focus away from their hurtful actions and make it seem like your emotions are the problem.
Example: Tessa tells her boyfriend, Marco, that his joke about her in front of their friends hurt her feelings. Instead of saying sorry, Marco just rolls his eyes and says, "You're overreacting. It was just a joke."
How to respond: "I have a right to my feelings. Just because it didn’t hurt you doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt me."
Why it works: This response firmly asserts that your emotions are valid and should not be dismissed.
2. "That never happened."
What it really means: The gaslighter is trying to rewrite history and make you question your memory.
Example: Eric reminds his boss, Janet, that she promised him a raise after six months. Janet replies, "I never said that. You must be confused."
How to respond: "I remember exactly what was said. If there’s any confusion, we can go over it together, but I know what I heard."
Why it works: This response keeps you from getting trapped in an argument and reinforces confidence in your own memory.
3. "Everyone agrees with me."
What it really means: The gaslighter wants to make you feel isolated by suggesting that no one supports you.
Example: Priya expresses her concerns about family plans to her sister, Lauren. Lauren responds, "Everyone thinks you’re overreacting. It’s not just me."
How to respond: "Unless they’ve told me that themselves, I won’t assume what others think. What matters is that I’m sharing how I feel."
Why it works: This response shifts the focus back to your perspective and prevents the manipulator from using imaginary group opinions against you.
4. "You’re overthinking this."
What it really means: The gaslighter is dismissing your concerns instead of addressing them.
Example: Jordan tells her husband, Caleb, that she feels he has been distant lately. Caleb sighs and says, "You’re overthinking this. Everything’s fine."
How to respond: "I’m bringing this up because it’s important to me. Avoiding it won’t solve the problem.
Why it works: This response keeps the conversation focused on your concerns and sets a boundary against being dismissed.
How to Protect Yourself from Gaslighting
- Trust your instincts. If something feels off, don’t ignore it just because someone else downplays it.
- Keep records. Save messages or write down incidents to stay grounded in reality, especially in situations where gaslighting happens often, like at work.
- Set clear boundaries. Limit your emotional involvement with people who repeatedly dismiss your feelings.
- Seek outside perspective. Talk to trusted friends or a therapist to get an objective view of the situation.
Final Thoughts
Recognizing gaslighting is the first step in protecting yourself, but manipulators use it to make you feel powerless. The next time someone tries to twist reality, use these responses to stand firm in your truth and maintain control over your own experiences.