If you’re single, society often tries to convince you that something is missing from your life. Whether it’s the constant swiping on dating apps or the pressure to find “the one,” the underlying message is clear: being single is a problem to solve. But what if the real connection you’re missing isn’t with someone else it’s with yourself?
Embracing Singlehood as Self-Discovery
Being single can be a unique opportunity for self-exploration and growth. It's not about saying no to relationships but about putting your relationship with yourself first. This isn’t just a feel good idea; it’s a call to action and a life-changing process. It begins with creating a genuine connection with yourself in your everyday life.
We often spend so much time seeking connection with others that we neglect our connection with ourselves. In fact, 63% of dating app users report feeling more anxious after using these platforms. They often leave us drained, unfulfilled, and sometimes even lonelier than before. Instead of endlessly searching for validation outside yourself, it’s time to shift the focus inward.
Ways to Prioritize Yourself
1. Start Your Day by Reconnecting with Yourself
Connecting with your mind, body, and spirit is essential for self-discovery, but how can you achieve this amidst daily routines?
Actionable Tip: Dedicate the first 15-20 minutes of your day to yourself. This will look different for everyone but aim to start your day with intention and connection. You might choose to stretch, meditate, write in a journal, or take a quiet walk. Whatever you do, let it ground you before the demands of the day begin.
Physical activity is a powerful way to reconnect with your body. For me, activities like working out or cycling are grounding. You don’t need to lift weights or ride a bike, but ask yourself: what makes you feel connected to your body? Whether it’s yoga, dancing, or a few deep breaths, small moments of physical awareness can set the tone for a more centered day.
2. Set Boundaries to Protect Your Time and Energy
One of the biggest challenges of modern dating and life is constant accessibility. The endless cycle of messaging, swiping, and checking apps can drain your energy and tether you to shallow distractions. Taking control of your time and attention is crucial.
Actionable Tip: Establish daily limits for how much time you spend on social media or dating apps. Consider restricting usage to specific times or taking regular breaks. Use that freed-up time to engage in activities that truly bring you joy whether it’s exploring a hobby, reading, or simply relaxing.
Spending time alone can be incredibly enriching. Instead of worrying about who’s texting you, focus on how you’re taking care of yourself. Protecting your time means prioritizing what truly nurtures you.
3. Explore Activities That Bring You Joy and Growth
After a significant life change, like a breakup, reconnecting with simple activities can be profoundly fulfilling. Whether it’s savoring your favorite treats, exercising, or cycling, these moments aren’t just distractions they’re ways to rediscover what makes you feel alive.
Actionable Tip: Set aside time each week for something that brings you happiness without any pressure to be productive or achieve something. This could be revisiting a childhood hobby, trying something new, or indulging in a small luxury. The key is to focus on enjoying your own company without the need to impress anyone or check off a goal.
For me, reconnecting with breakdancing helped me rediscover joy and a sense of identity. Think about a time when you felt most alive. What activities made you feel that way? Find ways to bring those experiences back into your life.
4. Redefine Loneliness as a Growth Opportunity
Being single is often associated with loneliness, but loneliness isn’t necessarily a negative thing. It’s a sign that something within you needs attention. Instead of running from it, embrace it as a chance for reflection and personal growth.
Actionable Tip: When you feel lonely, resist the urge to distract yourself by scrolling through apps or texting someone. Pause and ask yourself what your loneliness is trying to tell you. Write down your thoughts and explore what you’re truly longing for. Often, it’s not just a relationship it’s deeper needs like connection, fulfillment, or validation.
Loneliness isn’t a permanent state—it’s simply an experience. You can feel lonely without being isolated. Use these moments to check in with yourself and address your own needs, rather than expecting someone else to fill the void.
5. Connect with a Community That Encourages Growth
Self-discovery doesn’t mean going it entirely alone. Surrounding yourself with a supportive community of like-minded individuals can accelerate your personal growth and provide meaningful connections. The key is to focus on growth, not just filling time or avoiding loneliness.
The Takeaway
Being single isn’t a failure, it’s an opportunity to rediscover who you are outside of relationships and to build a fulfilling life on your own terms. By incorporating small but meaningful practices like reclaiming your mornings, setting boundaries, and rediscovering hobbies, you can create a life that feels rich and meaningful regardless of your relationship status.