In love, people often see the best in their partners, especially during the honeymoon phase. Here’s why this happens.
Each relationship brings a blend of deep emotions, but nothing quite matches the excitement of new romance. A widely regarded study from 1998, published in the 'Handbook of Social Psychology', suggests that attraction is both essential and effective for romantic interactions. During the early stages of a relationship, attraction becomes a main motivator, sparking curiosity about the other person and drawing mental engagement.
While emotions pull at the heart, our mind fills these connections with mental excitement and thrill as we enter new intimate relationships. Here are three mental drivers that explain why these early moments feel so electrifying.
1. The Novelty Effect
When we first meet someone we’re attracted to, everything about them feels fresh and intriguing their qualities, stories, hobbies, or even their quirks. From a psychological perspective, this is explained by “the novelty effect,” where new experiences stimulate the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, the body’s “feel good” chemical.
A 2010 study published in the 'Journal of Neurophysiology' explains that early stage romantic love brings a universal sense of euphoria. Interestingly, this effect is believed to stem from a natural instinct in mammals to seek preferred mates, which shapes behaviors that lead to reproductive outcomes.
2. The Excitement of Uncertainty
One significant factor in the honeymoon phase is the unpredictability that comes with a new relationship. Not knowing where the relationship will lead or how strongly your partner feels about you creates a mental tension that can be incredibly exhilarating.
Consider this example from a 2011 study. College women were shown Facebook profiles of men who had already viewed their profiles. The women were told that these men either liked them a lot, liked them just a bit, or that their feelings were unclear.
While it wasn’t surprising that the women responded more to the men who showed strong interest, it was even more intriguing that they preferred the men whose feelings were uncertain the most. This mystery made them think about the men more often, which increased their attraction.
In other words, questions about a partner’s feelings can amplify attraction. When people are unsure about their partner’s feelings, it leads to increased emotional engagement. This mental tension activates the brain’s reward system, blending anxiety with excitement, similar to the thrill of riding a rollercoaster for the first time. As your mind seeks clarity, it sharpens its focus on the newfound connection, intensifying your feelings.
3. Ignoring Red Flags
During the honeymoon phase, our brain tends to focus on the positive aspects of our partner, conveniently overlooking any potential “red flags.” This selective focus leads us to highlight qualities we find appealing while minimizing their flaws.
To understand this better, think about how fear works. When you’re afraid of something, your mind focuses on information that reinforces those fears.
A 2013 study published in 'Behavior Research Methods' confirms that emotional states are linked to selective attention people tend to focus on negative information when they’re anxious. Similarly, when you envision a bright future with a new partner, your mind zeroes in on their most desirable qualities, helping you overlook possible flaws.
This bias strengthens emotional bonds in the early stages of a relationship by seeing your partner in a positive light and creating a closer connection. It’s a natural process, especially when you’re emotionally invested in someone you consider a potential long term partner.
A Note on the 'Honeymoon Phase'
The honeymoon phase is more than an emotional thrill it’s a combination of novelty, uncertainty, and selective focus. Together, these elements create a powerful emotional mix, making new love feel like an extraordinary experience.
As exciting as the honeymoon phase may be, it is also temporary. Over time, novelty fades, uncertainties are resolved, and red flag blindness decreases. This isn’t entirely a negative shift; it allows for a natural transition from the excitement of early romance to the stability of deeper emotional connections. Understanding the psychology behind this stage lets us see why it's so appealing, while also showing that real love grows from more than just the first spark of attraction.