If you’re single, you’ve likely heard the usual tips on how to meet someone special using dating apps and websites, attending singles events like speed dating, or even calling on matchmakers. That’s all well and good if you genuinely enjoy those things. But if those ideas make you feel uncomfortable or uninterested, they might not be the right fit for you.
Not every approach works for everyone, especially if it feels like a lot of effort. And the last thing you want is to waste money, time, and energy doing something unpleasant and unproductive.
Instead, things tend to go smoother when you genuinely enjoy the process and have fun. It has to be real fun, not forced. When you're truly having fun doing something, a few interesting things can happen:
- You're more likely to keep doing it: You’re not going to say, "Oh no, do I have to have fun again?" As they say, just showing up is half the battle.
- You’ll get better at it: People don’t usually say, “I hate dancing, but I’m so good at it.” You tend to get better at things you like.
- You’ll notice more opportunities: When you’re enjoying yourself, you tend to relax. And when you relax, you’re more open to noticing new opportunities.
- You may become more attractive: When you’re having a good time, you tend to be more approachable and fun to be around.
- At the very least, you’ll entertain yourself: Why watch reality TV when real life can be even more entertaining?
So, maybe the best way to meet someone special is to follow these four steps:
1. Figure out what you really enjoy doing.
2. Find ways to do it that allow you to meet new people.
3. Do it more often.
4. Keep doing it.
This can apply to traditional dating activities. For example, if you enjoy socializing in crowded places and having drinks, singles happy hours might be more enjoyable for you than online dating. It could also mean finding ways to make typical dating activities less dull and more enjoyable. For example, what about attending singles events in places you already enjoy? If the event is at a cool museum and small talk isn’t working, you can always admire the art instead.
On the other hand, those four steps might reveal that none of the usual dating methods are right for you. Ultimately, anything that brings you into contact with more people can increase your dating prospects. Many activities, when done regularly, can help with this except maybe solo ice fishing.
Here’s another benefit of doing what you love: You’re more likely to meet people who enjoy the same things. For example, a dance class probably won’t be full of people who hate dancing.
In the end, the best dating strategy for you is one that fits well with your life. Don’t see dating as something that should disrupt or pause other important aspects of your life.
Instead, remember that living a fulfilling life can attract the right person. So, focus on doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled. If you don’t know what makes you happy, figuring that out should be a priority for many reasons. After all, if you can’t be happy with yourself, how can you expect others to be happy around you?