Sex with a new partner soon after a breakup is often an emotionally delicate time. Rebound sex generally refers to engaging in sexual activity with someone else to get over an ex. It’s primarily about moving on after a breakup. However, given that this is a vulnerable period for many people, it raises questions about whether rebound sex is a good or bad idea.
What are people's experiences with rebound sex like? Does it help them move past their breakup? Let’s look at what the research says.
When Does Rebound Sex Typically Happen?
Rebound sex is most likely to occur within a month following a breakup. Studies find that the further you get from the breakup, the less likely you are to report having rebound sex.
This makes sense because distress following a breakup usually peaks around two weeks and starts to decline by about a month. On average, a month post-breakup is when people are most likely to have sex with a new partner.
Given this, rebound sex is probably best seen as a short-term coping mechanism that happens close to the breakup. However, there's a lot of variability in how long it takes to get over a breakup, and if you're leaving a long-term or significant relationship, distress could last for many months, maybe even years. If distress remains high for an extended period, rebound sex could potentially happen over a much longer period.
Who Has Rebound Sex, and How Common Is It?
Who is most likely to have rebound sex? Research shows that people are much more likely to engage in it if they were the ones who were dumped. This makes sense because having a partner leave you (especially if you didn’t see it coming) can be very distressing and take a serious hit to your self-esteem. As a result, this tends to prompt additional coping behaviors, such as rebound sex.
How many people have had rebound sex? A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior tracked students who went through a breakup in the past year for three months. Around two-thirds of the students had sex during the study, with about one-third doing so for rebound reasons.
This indicates that rebound sex is a common experience after a breakup, especially among young adults. It's probably common among older adults as well; however, we don’t yet have the data to put a number on it.
Is Rebound Sex Helpful?
There’s nothing inherently wrong with having or wanting to have rebound sex. It’s not necessarily good or bad. On the positive side, for some people, rebound sex can boost or restore self-confidence in a way that helps them move on with their life as well as start a new relationship.
However, not everyone who has rebound sex makes good choices or has positive experiences. For example, if your rebound involves a drunken hookup that you end up regretting, it might be counterproductive by causing a further hit to your self-esteem. The impact of rebound sex depends heavily on the specific situation and context.
Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships reveals that rebound sex has both benefits and drawbacks.. People who quickly entered a new relationship after a breakup often experienced better mental health, likely due to the social and emotional support they received.
On the other hand, going on the rebound too quickly was also linked to feeling a greater desire to punish or seek revenge on one’s ex. While there seemed to be some benefits to psychological well-being, it wasn’t necessarily the case that going on the rebound resolved all their negative feelings about the breakup.
Takeaways
Clearly, there’s a lot of individual variability. For some, rebounding is an essential part of the healing process, whereas for others, it might be an obstacle that makes it harder to move on due to unresolved feelings.
If you're recovering from a breakup, it's important to be honest with your partner about your situation. If you can both be on the same page about what this is and isn’t (that is, just sex and nothing more), then you can minimize the chances of conflict and drama. If you’re not emotionally available and ready to start a new relationship, then leading someone on likely won’t end well for anyone. Effective communication is essential in any sexual relationship.